


A Recipie For Disaster

by KnightlyWordsmith



Category: Saint Seiya
Genre: Humour, M/M, Seiya Shenanigans, frienship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5843503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightlyWordsmith/pseuds/KnightlyWordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyoga just wants to cook a surprise dinner for Shun. Seiya offers to help distract the Andromeda Saint. Nothing goes well for either of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Recipie For Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a gift for a friend, and I think it nearly killed me, but oh god the Bronze Saints are fun to write XD

Hyoga was having a dilemma. For a huge mansion with duplicates of almost every type of room imaginable, the one room the Kido residence stubbornly held in singular was the one he desperately needed at that moment, and it was occupied.

He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised that Shun was busy in the kitchen. He always seemed to be in there, whipping up some kind of meal or baked good. Hyoga was certain he'd put on a few pounds since returning to Japan from Siberia, and that Shun's cooking was to blame for every single one of them. That however was not the problem at the moment. The problem Hyoga was having was that it was difficult to cook a surprise dinner for your boyfriend when he was currently tinkering away in the very kitchen you needed.

"What are you doing Hyoga?"

Hyoga jumped in surprise to hear Seiya's voice so close beside him. Turning, he found the Pegasus Saint bent at the waist, hands on hips, but with his head lifted to throw a knowing grin up in Hyoga's direction. If his stance weren't sign enough, the upturned arc of Seiya's eyebrows told him that Seiya was in a mood to pry.

"N-nothing," Hyoga replied entirely unconvincingly. It wasn't that Hyoga was lurking in the hallway near to the entrance of the kitchen, it was just that he couldn't think of a better way to describe the way he had been standing in the hall, avidly watching the kitchen door.

"You're _up to something_." Seiya's brows rose higher, wiggling slightly. Figures. Seiya himself was always up to something; he could probably smell it on others. Cocking his head, Seiya began tapping his foot, waiting for Hyoga to fess up. When he offered nothing else, Seiya probed further. "Hyoga, you've been camped out in the hall for the past ten minutes with the expression on your face getting more desperate by the second. Even Shiryu could see you're up to something."

"I heard that Seiya!" Shiryu's voice sounded out from somewhere deeper in the mansion.

Seiya frowned briefly at Shiryu's words, then shook his head. Attention back on Hyoga he pressed further. "Gonna tell me what you're up to yet?"

Hyoga sighed. Maybe Seiya could help him with the dilemma he was having. "I'm trying to figure out a way to get Shun out of the kitchen, so I can cook something for him," he admitted.

Seiya put a finger to his chin, apparently deep in thought. "So you need to distract Shun, huh?" Seiya straighten at the waist, so he was no longer bent forward, then held his finger up in question. "Wait a minute Hyoga, I thought you didn't know how to cook?"

"I know how to cook," Hyoga replied a little too quickly. It sent Seiya's eyebrows shooting up behind his bangs. _I do know how to cook_ , Hyoga repeated to himself, _I'm just not the best at it, but I can manage this much._

Seiya truly did not look convinced, but he just shrugged his shoulders and then grinned. "I can keep Shun busy for the day if you want."

"You can?" It was Hyoga's turn to look skeptical. It wasn't that he didn't think Seiya capable of keeping Shun distracted for a few hours. Quite on the contrary he had no doubt Seiya could. What he did doubt was if Seiya actions, whatever they were that he took, would leave the Kido mansion intact. Seiya's plans tended to involve a fair bit of collateral damage.

"Of course I can," Seiya responded confidently. The mischievous light in Seiya's eyes did more than worry Hyoga a little. Raising his voice so it would carry to the kitchen, Seiya called, "Oh Shun! I think Daichi knocked over your display of figurines again!"

"Again, really? Oh that dog." Shun's voice sounded resigned as it reached their ears from the kitchen. "I'm just about finished in here for now, and then I'll go fix them." Shun had strictly forbidden anyone else from putting his figurines back in place after the first few times Daichi knocked them over and others tried to fix them. He claimed that they were never put back in the right arrangement and that he would rather just take care of them himself.

Hyoga looked at Seiya in confusion. "Wait, did Daichi really do that?"

Seiya shook his head, that mischievous light in his eye burning if anything even stronger. "Nope, but if I hurry up I can make it look like he did before Shun gets out of the kitchen." With a wink Seiya turned to scamper off down the hall toward the stairs. Stopping just before he was out of sight, Seiya turned and said, "Don't worry, I'll keep him busy as long as you need me to. I promise."

Hyoga almost felt sorry for what he had unleashed on Shun. He hoped the meal he was planning to cook for Shun would more than make up for whatever trouble Seiya caused him.

* * *

With the kitchen now vacated by Shun, Hyoga set about preparing to cook. He'd chosen a Russian dish, beef stroganoff, to try and make for Shun. After all, the other man had cooked all variety of Japanese dishes for him, it was only fair that he share some of his own homeland's food.

His first thing to do was to lay out the ingredients he would need. A slab of beef stood out prominently alongside a package of bacon, a heap of mushrooms, some celery, an onion, a box of noodles, and an array of seasonings and sauces. As Hyoga eyed the ingredients laid out before him a touch of nostalgia hit him. He had the vaguest memory of his mother cooking this very dish for him as a young child. He was sure the recipe he had found would be different than his mother's, but there was some kind of warm feeling knowing that he was upholding a family tradition. Smiling to himself, he selected a sharp knife from the knife block he'd gotten Shun for his last birthday and set to work cubing the beef.

* * *

Daichi did not look appropriately contrite when Shun found him and scolded him for messing up his figurines, which was unlike the good natured mastiff. Usually Daichi knew when he did something wrong, and when found out would stand with his tail wagging low between his legs, an endearing look thrown up at whomever was dealing out the scolding. Instead, when Shun wagged his finger at the dog, Daichi only cocked his head, his tongue lolling out his mouth in confusion, before he scampered forward to lick Shun's hand. Irritation at the dog all but forgotten, Shun gave him the pats that he so obviously desired.

With everything back in place Shun decided he should get back to the kitchen. He had just finished making loaves of homemade bread, but he'd noticed that they were all out of any kind of dessert in the house. No doubt the fault of Seiya and his insatiable sweet tooth. He should have just enough time to whip up a batch of daifuku before he needed to start cooking dinner if he wanted it to be ready by the time everyone got hungry.

He was just closing the door to his room, having ushered Daichi out in front of him, when he caught sight of the sweet muncher himself cresting the top of the staircase. Seiya, wearing a red shirt, was holding another, no doubt identical, red shirt in his hand. His face brightened when he spotted Shun.

"Shun!" Seiya crowed happily, waving a hand eagerly at him. "You're just the person I was looking for."

"Oh, I was?" Shun inquired hesitantly. A small pit of dread built up in Shun's gut. If Seiya wanted him for something time consuming, he doubted he'd have the time to make the daifuku and still be able to work on dinner.

Seiya stretched the red shirt out in front him, holding it out for Shun's inspection. "This is my favourite red shirt," he announced. "And it has a stain on it that I was hoping you might be able to get out."

Shun squinted his eyes as he scanned the shirt held out before him. "Stained? Where?" The red cotton of the shirt was a uniform crimson for all Shun could tell.

"Where? You can't see it?" Seiya sounded almost offended. "Who are you? Shiryu?"

Out of nowhere, Shiryu's annoyed voice echoed throughout the hall. "I heard that as well Seiya!"

Frowning, Seiya glanced around as if he'd be able to spot Shiryu through one of the walls. "Damn super hearing," he muttered finally, concluding his search was futile. Raising the shirt up closer to Shun's face, Seiya pointed to the right sleeve. "See," he said. "It's stained right there!"

Leaning forward slightly Shun inspected the place Seiya had pointed at. Lo and behold there was a faint stain marking the sleeve. It was a slightly darker red splotch on the sleeve which looked vaguely like someone had taken a marker to the cloth. "Seiya," Shun began reasonably. "No one is ever going to notice that stain."

"But I noticed it Shun," Seiya turned his lip down in a pout. "You're so good at getting stains out, couldn't you just take a few minutes to clean this?" Shun bit his lip indecisively. He hated saying no to someone who asked for help, but Seiya was being borderline ridiculous. Had he not been inches away from the fabric and straining to see it, Shun doubted he ever would have noticed the stain. Seiya didn't give up though. "Please Shun," he begged. "You're the only one I'd trust to clean this. It's my _favourite_ red shirt."

Shun wasn't sure how Seiya had a favourite red shirt when every single red shirt he had was identical, but he couldn't say no to such desperation. Sighing, he held a hand out and Seiya happily handed the shirt over. "I can go take care of it if it means that much to you."

"Thanks Shun," Seiya said, bouncing on his heels gleefully. "You're the best!" With that the Pegasus Saint ran off down the hall, off to do who knows what.

Shun eyed the shirt he was now holding. With it being such a weak stain he should be able to get it washed out in no time. That meant if he were lucky he should still have the time to make the daifuku before dinner needed to be prepped. Provided he had no more distractions that was.

* * *

The smell of burnt food assaulted Hyoga's nostrils. He was fairly certain that the cooked beef wasn't supposed to be quite so blackened around the edges, not if one wanted it to have an appetizing taste. He frowned at it briefly, hoping that the sauce that the recipe called for would mask the worst of its charred taste.

Sighing to himself Hyoga set the cooked cubes of beef aside for the moment and began chopping up the celery and onion, hoping he'd be able to rescue the meal.

* * *

Ikki had holed himself up inside one of the many cozy studies that were housed within the Kido Mansion. He was sitting at a finely detailed ornate desk, his sketchbook open to a penciled drawing of a nearby public garden. Working from memory he was touching up the shading on one of the elegant bridges that arced over the stream that wound its way through the park.

A light knock on the doorframe to the study had Ikki turning his neck to see Shun peeking his head into the room. "Nii-san, you haven't seen Daichi around have you?"

Ikki shook his head. "Not lately, no." Shun hung his head at his response, an air of defeat coming off of him. Turning more fully in his chair Ikki asked, "What's going on?"

Shun lifted his head, a tired smile on his face. "Oh nothing much. There was mud all over the foyer and Seiya said Daichi tracked it all in from the front yard, so I wanted to make sure he was cleaned up before he dirtied anywhere else."

"Sorry, I haven't seen him," Ikki said. Lowering his brows in concern he added, "You look worn out? Is everything alright?" Shun had a tendency to work himself to the bone if he wasn't reminded that as much as everyone appreciated his help, he needed to take breaks too.

Shun's eyes squinted closed as a smile brightened on his face. "Oh it's nothing," Shun assured him. "I've just got some things I want to get done in the kitchen but it seems like everything in the mansion is getting messed up. Seiya keeps blaming it on the dog and ferrets, but at this point I'm starting to suspect he might have a hand in it."

Ikki tried his best to keep his inward irritation at Seiya from appearing on his face. Seiya was his friend, but that didn't mean he didn't get on Ikki's nerves. Especially when he took advantage of his kind hearted brother. "Do you want me to take care of him?" Ikki asked, his voice carefully calculated to come out as nonchalant.

For all his efforts, Ikki should have known Shun would see right through his forced calm. His brother's expression went from reassuring to stern faster than Ikki could blink. "Nii-san, the way you tend to 'take care of' Seiya would leave this house in worse shape than anything Seiya could do on his own," Shun said, his tone firm.

Ikki chuckled at his brother. "I was just going to _talk_ to him Shun, and tell him to stop messing everything up," he tried to calm Shun's worries.

Shun's expression softened, but he did not look entirely convinced. "I appreciate the offer Ikki, but I can handle Seiya on my own. Promise me you won't talk to him?"

Smiling, Ikki nodded. "I promise I won't, but if you do find him causing you too much trouble just let me know."

Shun nodded as well. "And you let me know if you see Daichi." A note of worry came into his voice as he added, "I hope he didn't get into Saori-san's room if he really was full of mud. She would _not_ be happy." A faint frown on his face, Shun disappeared into the hallway, leaving Ikki to turn back to his sketchbook. He'd deal with Seiya if necessary. Without saying a word.

* * *

Hyoga was beginning to doubt that he'd be able to salvage anything from this stroganoff. He had tossed the charred beef back in with the bacon, celery and onions as the recipe instructed and allowed them all to simmer for an hour in a beef broth. The meat was supposed to tenderize but there was no hope for his blackened beef. The smell rising off the pot was nothing like the rich aroma he remembered of his mother's cooking. Hopefully Shun would at least appreciate the effort he put in. It was the thought that counted of course.

The recipe he'd dug out called for the stroganoff to be served over a bed of noodles. Cooking noodles at least was simple enough. Hyoga was positive he couldn't mess that up.

* * *

Hyoga was taking _forever_ in the kitchen. If he didn't hurry up, Seiya was going to run out of ideas on how to keep Shun busy. At least ways that wouldn't scar the mansion in a manner that would have Saori kicking him out of it forever.

Seiya had been sure to keep an eye on Shun while he had been chasing Daichi down, only to find the dog sparkling clean with not a hint of mud to be found in his fur. With that done Shun had headed back in the direction of the kitchen and Seiya had only just managed to intercept him before he got too close.

"Shun!" He called out, putting on the biggest smile he could manage.

Shun did not look nearly as happy to see him. "What is it this time Seiya?" Seiya could not possibly miss the note of exasperation in Shun's voice, but he pretended it wasn't there. After all, he was doing this for Shun's sake, he just didn't know it.

"You're good at sewing," Seiya began conversationally. The corner of Shun's mouth dropped visibly at Seiya's words.

Behind Shun, Seiya saw Ikki round the corner of the hallway, his sketchbook tucked under one arm. The older man narrowed his eyes as soon as he caught sight of Seiya. He jerked a thumb backward, ushering Seiya over. Knowing full well that ignoring Ikki when he had an expression like that on his face was not a smart idea, Seiya forced himself to look back at Shun and add, "Aren't you?"

"I can sew, yes," Shun replied not quite making eye contact with Seiya. His whole face screamed that he knew exactly where Seiya was going with this, and that he wanted to no part in it. Seiya didn't allow this to impede him anymore than the darkening expression on Ikki's face.

Out of the corner of his eye, Seiya saw Ikki flip open his sketchbook and start whittling away at it with a pencil. Seiya's curiosity was aroused, but the grim look on Ikki's face did not bode well for him. Maybe he'd learned of all the trouble Seiya had been causing Shun. Once again though, Seiya chose to pay Ikki little heed and smiled back at Shun, proceeding with his plan. "I was just in my sock drawer and found that all of them have holes in them," he explained. "I think ferrets are to blame." Of course that was a complete and total lie, but a few tiny holes ripped into each sock could pass for the work of small weasel teeth if they had to.

Over Shun's shoulder Seiya could see Ikki flip his sketchbook around, and hold it out for him to see. The hastily drawn sketch was not entirely clear but it _looked_ like it depicted Shun standing alone in the foreground, with Seiya drawn much smaller, far off in the corner. The intense look on Ikki's face told Seiya that he was supposed to heed this message, quickly. Shun was speaking again though, so Seiya stood firm against the dark look Ikki was directing at him.

"Seiya how on Earth would that have happened?" Shun asked. His voice was light, but the strain around his eyes told a different story. Seiya really hoped that whatever Hyoga was whipping up in the kitchen was good. Shun deserved it after the day he had put him through.

When Seiya had continued to make no move to leave, Ikki's face flared an angry red. His features twisted in a fit of rage, which he looked to be trying mightily to get a hold of. He snapped the sketchbook back around and began furiously scribbling on a fresh page. This too was flipped over a moment later so Seiya could see, its meaning far less ambiguous than the first. A sketchy Ikki, with what Seiya assumed was blood dripping off of his fist, stood over Seiya himself, who was stretched out on the ground. The penciled Seiya's face was bruised with X's drawn over his eyes for added measure. Seiya gulped but again didn't move. He'd made a promise.

Seiya shrugged in response to Shun's question, but the motion was anything but smooth. He kept glancing nervously away from Shun's face to Ikki glowering in the corner. "How should I know? But there's little holes in pretty much every sock I own," he said. "Can't you mend them? I wouldn't want to throw out so many pairs of socks when they just need little holes sewed shut in them."

Shun pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly close to his breaking point. It was a testament to his patience that he'd put up with Seiya's shenanigans this long. Behind him Ikki was showing just how different the two brothers were in personality. Seiya wasn't exactly sure why he was so set on him leaving Shun alone, but Ikki clearly was.

As Seiya continued to ignore him, Ikki had gotten visibly more frustrated. His lips bared in a silent snarl as he flipped back to the first image. He held it out at arm's length toward Seiya for added emphasis. His knuckles were white and he was gripping the pages hard enough to leave a permanent crease in the sketchbook. Ikki then violently turned back to the image of him having beaten Seiya up. This time Ikki pointed at the sketch firmly, his eyes practically bulging out his head as his gaze bored into Seiya's.

Seiya couldn't even pretend there was anything ambiguous about the situation any longer. Ikki's message was clear. Leave Shun alone, or get dead.

He wished once again that Hyoga would hurry up and finish cooking whatever it was he was working on in the kitchen. He also wished he'd never made that damn promise in the first place. With a gulp Seiya opened his mouth to plead with Shun again to mend his socks, but was cut off by the sudden appearance of smoke billowing out of the kitchen into the hall.

A gasp of horror was pulled from Shun's throat. "My kitchen!" He cried, his eyes widened in the way a mother's eyes do when her baby gets too near to something dangerous. "What? Who?" In a mad dash Shun scrambled down the hallway to rescue his own personal sanctuary.

Seiya was about to follow after him but was stopped by a rough hand gripping his shoulder. He was spun around to find Ikki almost nose to nose with him, his face screaming death. "When I tell you to leave my brother alone, _leave him alone_." His words finished, he shoved Seiya away, causing him to stumble backward a few steps.

"What do you mean? You never told me to do anything," Seiya grasped at the tiny loophole he found in Ikki's wording. Ikki would probably kill him either way, so he might as well go out being the little shit that he was.

"I mean these," Ikki growled, shoving the sketches he'd done in Seiya's face.

"Those? I could make about as much sense of those as Shiryu could." Seiya grinned at his own cleverness.

"I know that was another blindness joke, Seiya." Shiryu, a very disgruntled look on his face, had finally made an appearance, stalking down the hallway toward Ikki and Seiya.

Feeling backed into a corner, Seiya held both his hands up to ward off the two very irritated Saints bearing down on him. "I swear, I did it all to help Hyoga," he confessed.

"How does messing the entire mansion up help Hyoga?" Ikki asked the same time Shiryu said, "How could making fun of my blindness possibly help Hyoga?"

"You've got me there Shiryu," Seiya said, pointing acknowledging at him, a gesture he realized was pointless because, well, Shiryu wouldn't be able to see it. To Ikki he said, "But trust me, I was trying to help Hyoga. That's why I was keeping Shun busy all day." Ikki's unconvinced stare told him he was far from off the hook. "Just come with me," Seiya said, stepping past Shiryu to lead them all to the kitchen.

* * *

Hyoga stood in the kitchen, catching his breath after the near panic he had just had. He didn't have long at all to recover before Shun, the very last person he wanted to see at that moment, ran into the kitchen, eyes wide with worry. When he caught sight of the state of his beloved kitchen, Shun's face turned as pale white as the snow covering most of its surfaces.

The smell of burning food already permeated the kitchen fairly strongly after the job Hyoga had done on the beef. That was most likely the reason that it took him so long to notice that the noodles were burning in their own pot, and not only burning, but actually on fire. To be honest, he wasn't quite sure how that had a happened. He was positive he had added water to the pot…

"What? What happened?" Shun's voice came out slightly strangled as he took everything in. A faint dusting of snow covered the countertops, the side of the fridge and the first few feet of flooring that stretched away from the counter. The snow was concentrated most heavily on the stove, where two white bumps stood out as the pots holding the charred stroganoff, and the utterly destroyed noodles.

Hyoga hung his head in shame, and mumbled under his breath. "I-I kind of panicked when the noodles caught on fire. Diamond Dust was the first thing that came to mind." It had seemed like a good idea at the time when he'd caught sight of the bright orange flames wreathing the pot where the noodles had been cooking.

"No," Shun said, approaching him. Shun put his hand under Hyoga's chin and lifted it so he had to look up. Hyoga found himself looking into Shun's smiling green eyes. "What happened here all day? Were you cooking?"

Hyoga made a noncommittal noise in his throat, shrugging meekly. "Maybe."

"Hyouga," Shun chuckled warmly. "You don't know how to cook." The way Shun smiled at him abated any kind of sting his words or laughter may have had.

"I was trying to surprise you." Hyoga found himself smiling back. Shun's smiles always had the habit of infecting his own mood.

"Oh Hyouga, you know you don't have to do that," Shun craned his neck slightly to place a quick peck on Hyoga's cheek, leaving a warm tingling feeling there. Looking around at the dismal state of the kitchen, Shun laughed again, and added. "Really, you don't have to."

At that moment Seiya arrived, Ikki and Shiryu trailing in his wake. Seiya, looking back at the two following him, was saying, "See guys, well Ikki, I was just trying to help…" Seiya's voice trailed off slowly as he turned his head to see the shape the kitchen was in. "Well Shiryu, I know you can't see this, but we just walked into a winter wonderland."

Rubbing his arms against the chill that rose from the snow all over the kitchen, Shiryu grumbled, "I kind of figured that out without your help there Seiya."

Ikki's eyes darted around the room, taking it all in. Finally his gaze settled on Hyoga and Shun. "The hell happened in here?"

Hyoga cleared his throat and rapidly began explaining what had happened. He went back to the very beginning story, detailing how he had enlisted Seiya's help to keep Shun out of the kitchen, his struggles cooking a surprise meal for Shun, finally cumulating in how he had set the stove on fire and put it out with a heavy dusting of snow.

"So wait," Shun said, having keyed in on one very important piece of information in Hyoga's story. "It was you who set up Seiya to run amok in the mansion?"

Hyoga shuffled his feet, and dropped his gaze. "I needed some way to keep you distracted." He looked back up at Shun's face, a weak grin on his own. "I hope he didn't cause you too much trouble."

The rueful look on Shun's face told Hyoga that Seiya had certainly caused him plenty of trouble, but ever the good-natured soul Shun shook his head and said, "No, not at all." With a cheeky grin he added. "But really, you don't need to try to surprise me with food again. _Ever_."

Hyoga laughed along with Shun at this. "I promise I won't."

Looking around worriedly Shun once again eyed the state of his kitchen. "But now what to do about this mess?" The snow itself was going to be enough trouble to deal with, and Hyoga didn't even want to think about what the buried pots currently looked like.

"Nothing," Shiryu spoke up firmly, taking a step forward. "You two go out for dinner."

"What?" Hyoga and Shun asked in unison.

"I think you deserve it after all you've gone through today Shun, and after what you tried to do Hyoga," Shiryu said, crossing his arms in front of him. "Don't worry, I'll see to it that Seiya gets everything cleaned up in here."

Shiryu must have been able to sense Seiya's mouth opening because his features lowered themselves into a warning glare in Seiya's direction, daring him to make another joke. "Yes, I know what I said Seiya, but if you make fun of my disability one more time, you'll end up with one."

Even from across the room Hyoga could see Seiya's throat bulge as he swallowed back whatever it was he was going to say. Hyoga didn't blame him. As terrifying as Ikki's anger could be, it was rather commonplace so one was used to his threats. However, a similar threat coming from the much cooler-headed Shiryu? Now that was something to fear.

Hyoga supposed he should feel bad about these turn of events. After all it was his fault that Seiya had caused all the trouble he had, and was now getting reprimanded by Shiryu. At the same time, a night out with Shun definitely appealed to him, and he wasn't about to waste the opportunity. "Shall we go then?" Hyoga asked Shun. "I'm buying."

"Oh you don't have to do that," Shun said.

"Of course I do," Hyoga insisted. "I was already planning on making you dinner, and now I made a mess of your kitchen."

"Alright then, if you're sure," Shun relented.

Taking him by the hand, Hyoga led Shun out of the kitchen, past a miffed Seiya, a still glowering Ikki, and a very pleased looking Shiryu. All's well that ends well he supposed.


End file.
